Why have counselling?

Feeling like your current way of dealing with things is no longer working is often a prompt for people to come into therapy and get assistance in developing new ways of being.  For change to take place, you have to feel ready, and therapy can help you prepare for this.

Our feelings inform us when we need to pay attention to something, even when we don’t know what that ‘something’ is.  When we deny, disregard and repress feelings, we bury our feelings alive so they tend to return again and again in a bid for us to take notice.

It is not uncommon to feel shame about being in emotional distress. Some feel that simply wanting therapy must mean there is something wrong with them. The idea of therapy is to discover how you can make choices about how you live your life and therefore a positive step towards making that discovery.

Psychology believes that our childhood experience is of paramount importance. That how we were brought up, the social and economic conditions we experienced, our parents’ attitudes towards us as individuals and those of significant others such as teachers, siblings, figures of authority are all key factors in how our personalities have been formed and how we relate to the world as adults. Many people struggle with issues related to self esteem, or feel angry or stressed or stuck in a rut and cannot find the motivation to move forward and fulfil their ambitions for the kind of life that they want. Others may find they are using coping mechanisms that are no longer serving them or find they have difficulties in their relationships at home or at work, or feel lonely and unable to form relationships at all.

Whatever the problem, my approach is around bringing the unconscious aspects of a person’s problems to consciousness. This is mainly done by exploring a person’s childhood experience as well as looking at their life today and enabling a person to see how these two are linked. We are all products of our early life experience and conditioning and in making this conscious we can then see that our adult life is in many ways a reflection of our childhood, how we tend to treat ourselves in the way we were treated, how the same key figures or situations keep appearing in a different guise causing our childhood experience to play out again and again.

When we can see how the past is being acted out in the present all becomes clearer. Having gained that insight and understanding of why we behave the way we do, think and feel the way we do and experience others the way we do, we are enabled to see how we repeat negative patterns of behaviour, set ourselves up to be treated in the same way and are able to see what is stopping us from being the person we really are. In looking at the past in this way and re-experiencing our hurt, angry and sometimes confused feelings we are then able to move on and have the life we really deserve.

With all the difficulties that life can throw at us it’s not often that we put time aside to focus on ourselves. I offer a professional, confidential and effective counselling environment in which you will have the opportunity to do this. I will help you to identify behaviour patterns and coping mechanisms that are no longer helpful to you and develop self-awareness so that you can choose to live your life the way you wish to live it.